Saturday, December 15, 2012

A collection of thoughts on my life before I head back to the States...not in any particular order...


 Traumatic events build unbreakable bonds between people. So do extra-long church services, I think. When I first met Sam, I was smitten but he was indifferent—not afraid, but uninterested. An hour into the service when he was being unwillingly pinned down in his mother’s arms, he became intrigued by me and my bracelet. Later when he was about to scream during the sermon, his mother, also initially hesitant about my presence in the chair next to hers, ripped the bracelet off my arm (where I had returned it once because Sam had been more interested in the cookie his mother pulled out from her purse) and handed it to him like a pacifier. It surprised me at first because it shocked me out of my deep thoughts about the sermon (of course) and trying to figure out if I had calculated my arrival date to the US wrong (I had), but it made me feel like part of a family in which no one has any embarrassment about taking what they need from someone else. And now Sam and I are pals.
Sam, his mother, and my bracelet

Strikes in India involve women in colorful saris wandering down the streets yelling into megaphones and carrying signs. It reminded me of the sister suffragettes and “votes for women” was running through my head even though this strike wasn’t about votes it was something about farming…if you have never seen Mary Poppins, you will have no idea what I am talking about. If you have seen it you may remember more of the “votes for women” song than I do—since that is the only bit that I remember.

Can you see the line of striking women? I took the photo from inside a store.
India (at least this part of India) doesn’t have our Western Christmas songs translated and installed in their appropriate church-song repertoire—at least not that I have heard and not that the two men I asked about it today knew.  Maybe that’s because I haven’t attended a Baptist church yet, but I am strangely disappointed by that even though I know that it is way more culturally appropriate for them not to have to sing awkwardly translated songs. But translated songs are great ways to have guitar sing-a-longs where everyone can sing whatever words that they want. Also translated songs are great for learning new vocabulary. Also I think it’s fun to sing songs in a multitude of languages. But Indian praise songs are enjoyable too, so I’m ok. If I don’t learn “Joy to the World” in Hindi, it’s fine.

India moving companies are only allowed into Patna after 11:00pm. My movers arrived a 12:30am and unloaded a large truck full of stuff from the Kolkata office.  It took 2.5 hours and left me with a house full of boxes and furniture. I walked around sideways like a crab for days.  We opted for a less sophisticated but equally effective option for moving the stuff into the new office: a parade of bicycle rickshaw drivers. I was told that they would arrive at 5am to get an early start. When I woke up with my alarm at 5am, I realized how dumb of me it was to actually believe that they would show up on time, so instead I called my mom and asked her for a recipe for something to make to serve them while they were in and out of my house carrying stuff.  As I get older, I’m realizing more and more what Asian/Jennie Stillman etiquette that has become deeply engrained in me. Most of that etiquette has to do with food, which is why I’m constantly baking these days to make sure that I never send someone’s plate back to them empty. And people keep giving me food, which is great but not actually a time-saver for me. On a related note, I kept thinking how awesome it was that I could call my mom at 5am and know that I will only be interrupting her dinner, not her sleep.  My phone etiquette, which I probably didn’t receive from Asia (which has no phone etiquette) or my mother (who would never call someone during dinner), was totally ok with this.  And while maybe 1 or 2 bicycle rickshawers were brave enough to try the beautiful cinnamon rolls, I ate them for the rest of the weekend that I spent running to and from the office without a second to spare for cooking food.

                                  

I have become wonderfully adept at small home improvements—these are improvements of things that no one else would naturally think of as things that need to be improved. That is why I can’t think of anyone in particular to call to help me with these things. You know, you can call a plumber if your sink is leaking or a mechanic is your fridge is buzzing. Who is the person you call if you need to unscrew a light bulb that is in the way of a giant lighted glass display case for fancy dishes with extra drawers underneath that you want to move? I couldn’t think of the name either, so I climbed up on a chair, and unscrewed it myself with my pocketknife because of course I don’t have any tools. And that is generally where I end up when doing home improvements: on a chair with a pocketknife unscrewing something.  And my pocketknife is one my dad got for me two Christmases ago as a free gift at a Christian bookstore in Indonesia. It says “Halleluya” on it. It isn’t one of those awesome chunky ones with tweezers, scissors, a retractable hammer, and a cappuccino maker. So clearly, it is the awesome person who is wielding it (yes, I mean me.) who has all the skills. I recently unscrewed two showerheads and then re-screwed in the one that was better in its original state, as I personally believe that one big stream of water pounding on one’s head is better than a tiny trickle spitting out in several scrawny drips.  Moving the large glass display case may have been trickier than unscrewing the light bulb and light blub socket and prying it out of the paint, but it had to be done.  Otherwise my washing machine would have to sit in the middle of the dining room. Now it can be barely wedged between the sink (yes, there is a sink in the dining room for post-dinner-eaten-by-hand-hand-washing) and the glass display case.  Of course, I still have to move it out to the balcony before using it to stuff the drainage pipe down the balcony drain so that the water doesn’t explode all over my house.  I learned this the hard way—by experience. My first load of laundry extended that day’s house chores to cleaning the floors and drying the furniture. I also made a dam out of an old table cloth that I found.to keep the water from getting into other rooms. I kept thinking to myself, “There must be SOME ingenious way that I could force the water to go out on to the balcony and then drain outside.” And I considered building a channel to redirect the water outside with cookie sheets (I am always in favor of using kitchen tools for multiple purposes.), but then I remembered that I only have one cookie sheet and a channel has two sides. I was wracking my brain for various water-proof objects that I could line up and use to trap water when I realized that I could pick up my washing machine and carry it a little closer to the balcony and the plastic tubey thing would reach the drain of the balcony.  Another brilliant solution to my house-keeping needs.

While I was in Sri Lanka I was informed that I have taken to doing the Indian head-nod. I am like a chameleon. I can adapt and change and morph no matter where I am. In the Middle East, I clicked my tongue and raised my eyebrows for ‘no’. And now I shake my head side-ways like a bobble-head doll outside in a hurricane.  I can’t say that it just happened. Initially, I worked on the skill and at least once I was told I was bobbing excessively. Now, however, I am pretty sure I’ve mastered the exact amount of tilt and shake. At least there have been no more comments about my head-nodding now.  I imagine I’ll get a few if I happen to use this new skill in the States though…

And now, here’s a photo of a goat in a rickshaw:

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Internet...and other happy things


Two months to the day of the first time Airtel told me that my phone and internet connection would be activated it finally is! Yes, I am as amazed as you are. It got to where Airtel would tell me “tomorrow” or “in one hour it will be activated” and I laughed in their faces—which really isn’t the best way to go about getting what you want, but I was that confident that it would not make any difference one way or the other that I risked it.  Then I had a few days of my phone working but my internet not working and most recently, for a change, my phone was not working, but my internet was. And, so you know how awesomely technically advanced I am—the internet was working on one computer but not on the other. So I rigged the working computer to share internet to my computer so that I could get emails in on my laptop. How awesome am I? I know…but then, I realized that all I needed to do was uninstall and re-install the internet USB thingy (yes, I know it’s called a dongle, but that is the dumbest word and I refuse to use it unless I have to), and so maybe I am not as technologically advanced as I originally thought.  But I know I am more technologically advanced than Airtel Customer service—or maybe I am just more logically advanced, but I do know that the following conversation with customer service is rather circular:

Trying to call from my phone:  “Your out-going calls have been temporarily suspended. Please call 121 for more information.”

And after calling 121: “Your out-going calls have been temporarily suspended. Please call 121 for more information.”

Anyway, if Airtel craps out on me in a few days (very possible), I already have a back-up plan: Daniel’s wireless connection, which comes in very clearly to my flat. I haven’t met him yet, but I am sure that his name is Daniel. Why am I certain that he named his wireless internet after himself? Because he is not creative at all. How do I know that? Because his internet password is “123456.” Thank you, Daniel, for not reading any of those scary articles about hackers who steal your internet and then your identity and not changing your password to Fwe23g49Hjq*?p.

My happiness at finally finishing the internet/phone business, which means that I don’t have to go back to the Airtel office and sit there for hours again, made me start thinking of other happinesses in my life:

·      I have moved the bazillion boxes of stuff from the old office out of my house and into the new office.

·      And the new office has multi-colored walls.

·      And they moved the stuff out of my house by bicycle rickshaw. Yes, it was awesome.

·      And I have discovered a 20-minute running loop around my neighborhood. It’s not a great route like my down-to-the-Ganges River-route was, but there is less likelihood of me being attacked by a river dolphin or kidnapped by a gang of angry fishermen. The 20-minute loop is something I can work with—run it twice plus whatever smaller loops I can find or run it three times for extra fun.  Running here is tricky because I can’t go before the sun is up (currently about 6am) since I might trip over a sleeping water buffalo or fall in a craterImeanpot-hole. But if I’m out running too late (i.e. past 7:30), I get stuck in school traffic—kids in uniforms erratically riding their bikes down the street or bicycle rickshaw drivers with carts full of school children riding erratically down the street or cows wandering erratically down the street…keeps me on my toes, figuratively and literally.

I’m sure there’s more stuff to be excited about, but it’s wedding season here and blasting fireworks are shattering my peace of mind. I saw an elephant walking down the street last night from my car window—part of an elaborate wedding procession. I leaned out of the window to try and get a photo (for my nephew who recently made it clear that he likes elephants way better than cows and I want him to like me the best of all) and knocked off my sunglasses that were on my head that I had forgotten about because it was night-time and I wasn’t using them because I am not a hiphop star (yet).  The wonderful man who is helping me out this week, slammed on the brakes and went back to get them for me before they were squashed by the elephant.  That same man plus our newly hired field officer have contrived not to let me carry anything from our office-shopping list. I am telling myself to accept the chivalry and enjoy not having to carry anything. It’s not so bad since, true to my womanly nature, I always carry around overstuffed bags with things that I’m sure I can’t live with out and I might need at any random moment but most of which I never use. Not having to carry other stuff kind of helps.


And now I should start winding down so I can do the other stuff I was supposed to do before I started writing this.  I will leave you with this photo of an elephant butt that I got after the elephant passed us while we were looking for my glasses. It is the only one that came out.