She said sure, why not? I've never done that before. Should be fun (or something like that).

This photo is irrelevant. Hervé thought it would be
funny to make me try on his jacket and take photos.

So after hundreds of proposals from men all over the world, most detailed in this blog, I finally picked one. This one doesn’t want a green card, but he also has not offered to buy livestock for my father. My Moru Mama, aka Repent’s mother, has told me to tell him that he should just give the livestock to them—she’s requested some cows, goats, and sheep. After all, she says, I’m in their family, and it’s only right.

Herve says, “I knew it! I told you that this year you would be getting married by the end of the year.” Urbain was impressed by his prophetic abilities until I reminded everyone that he says that every year and I’m not getting married until next year. But he is taking credit anyway.

Really it is Claire who should take credit because she was the one who gave me Tim’s contact information when I remembered he was drilling wells in Burkina Faso back when Neverthirst told me to check out other possible places we could look into doing projects.

But maybe I should credit Neverthirst with letting me do the project out of shame that none of them knew that Burkina Faso existed and I made them feel very stupid about it.

In front of an old well in the ruins of an old city in Cyprus

I knew about it, of course, and here I can give the credit to my maternal grandparents who went on a mission trip there back when it was still called Upper Volta. I heard many stories over the years about my grandmother teaching literacy out in bush schools while my grandfather helped dig a pond for farming because he was the only one who knew how to drive a tractor. I really thought it was common knowledge that Burkina Faso is a small, landlocked country in west Africa, and I wanted to go there while my grandmother was still alive to be excited with me about going there. And I used Tim and Neverthirst and Claire to get me there. That’s how I do. I’m mercenary like that.

But if we go back farther than Claire but after Upper Volta became Burkina Faso, we should credit Les Cedres with being the cheapest option to study French that would accept me on my weird schedule. Because that is where I met Tim and Claire and a bunch of other nice people and acquired a rudimentary knowledge of French that allows me to fake my way through the UNICEF meetings I can’t make Herve go to.

I took this photo of Tim in Burkina because he told me not to,
so I could bring it back to show Naomi.
In spite of this incident, he decided to text me
every day all day until he eventually got in the habit of
talking to me and thought--well, might as well marry her.

Tim and I have talked about the one conversation we remember having with each other while we were there before going our own ways and forgetting about each other. We were in the kitchen, I think because I had clean up duty, which wasn’t fair really since I almost never used the kitchen, being content to acquire my necessary nutrition from gummy bears and French mustard-flavored chips. He was eating or cleaning or making coffee or it clearly didn’t make much of an impression. Someone had told me that the tall guy worked in Burkina Faso doing water projects like I do, so I went over to say hi and discuss drilling in Africa and then considered my social duty for the day done. Looking back on the French school time, it was right after my dramatic escape the fighting to hide in the bush time, and I may have been having a bit of PTSD. I avoided social activities more than usual and spent a lot of time in my room, angry at the world for caring about what happened in South Sudan only as long as I was there, but while my friends were still there, still hiding, still uncertain about their future, no one really cared (so it seemed to me). Plus, as mentioned previously, I ate lots of gummy bears and smurfs and crocodiles from the nearby shop and I never really needed to leave my room for sustenance, only for classes and going for long runs around town on the coulée verte.

In Northern Ireland- after traveling all night from Chad
 to get to his tiny island,
he decided the best thing for us to do is climb the tallest
mountain in NI. Fortunately, N Irish mountains are mostly
glorified hills, but in spite of the fact that I nearly died of frost bite,
it was, of course, a great idea and exactly what I wanted to do.

At any rate, I ended up in Burkina Faso at the end of March this year with strict instructions from Claire to set Tim up with Naomi because they are both tall, close in age, and northern Irish. Clearly I failed in this endeavor, but it is not fair to say that I didn’t give it my best effort, TIM. I really did. I talked about her non-stop. I thought he would start to wonder if I was obsessed with her (I am), but he claims he didn’t notice. Probably because of my heart-stopping beauty and relentless charm. Or because he learned so quickly to ignore what I say. I think his favorite thing to say to me is "you talk such rubbish." It's poetic compliments like this, given in a classic country Northern Irish accent that really made me fall for him. To be fair, I'm just taking Naomi's word for it that it's "country," as I can't really tell the difference (yet), except that I've noticed (with only a tiny bit of sadness) that he doesn't talk like the Leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials.

He's a giant!

 Fortunately, neither Claire nor Naomi were upset when they found that the crazy man kept texting me-when he could have had Naomi or possibly Claire (she's basically a doctor-what a catch!!) if he really worked for it. In fact, they have thought it was hilarious good fun from the beginning and told me definitely to keep talking to him. I knew if I did, I’d probably end up marrying the guy, which was a strange thought to me, but I knew it would make Herve very happy and so for his sake, I went along with it. And I will say, the man proved himself because it is not easy for someone well over six feet tall (WELL over) to fold himself up like an accordion in order to fit in an airplane, and for months he followed me around the world—Cyprus, New Zealand, the US (the south no less! the clash of accents and inevitable miscommunications were so fun for me), Senegal (to get the ring), and he even condescended to meet me at the airport in Dublin, though he showed his disapproval by showing up late.  In fact, we have yet to be in the same country together twice (though by the time I get around to publishing this post, that might have changed).

When Micaela told us we look dumb
standing next to each other, but it seems
I am almost to his shoulder.

In conclusion, we are a ridiculous couple. Micaela, when taking a photo of us in New Zealand, burst into laughter at the sight of us standing next to each other and said, “You guys really do look dumb.” (I come up to his elbow, I think.) There are also a few years (or maybe a lot of years) separating us in age. And I think he is secretly disappointed that I’m American, but consoling himself with the fact that it’s only passport deep at best and he's moving me to the UK because he had the foresight to buy a house there and I own--nothing, I own nothing (he's not marrying me for my money and property, I know that). He also thinks it’s hilarious to remind me that he has two passports and I only have one. It’s a sign that he knows me well enough to know that is a cutting insult, as I am actually really jealous of that.  For people who don’t know us, we don’t look like we should be together, but for all the people who do know us, they’ve been 100% on board with us even when we weren’t. We think that’s a pretty good sign. Plans fail for lack of counsel, so says Proverbs, so we made sure we had plenty of counsel, even though we avoided all publicity.

And he loves dogs! OK, he pretends that he just
thinks they're fine, but he goes out of his way to
walk dogs that aren't even his (for real, Emily-he loves Loustic!).
Please enjoy this rare sighting of the top of his head.

For me, I’ve always said that I didn’t want to get married unless my life can be more useful and productive and exciting with the person I marry. (Because what’s the point? I already have an exciting life that is occasionally useful!) And with Tim, I really feel it will be. But maybe that will just be because we won’t be having to spend time and money traveling all over the place to see each other or texting each other all day, so we can get more stuff done. Incidentally, I’m pretty sure he asked me to marry him because he was tired of dealing with unstable Chadian internet while he was trying to talk to me. Anyway, he’s got a few weeks left to change his mind, some of which will even be spent in the same place as me without the mediating help of the internet cutting out when I'm getting annoying. But after that—it will be too late! Stuck with me for the rest of our lives—well, probably at least for the rest of his. Seeing as I’m younger (MUCH younger), I might outlive him, and this is why this is such a crucial decision for him. But then again, I have been living on a steady diet of processed foods, and if the health nuts are right, I’ve only got a few more years left to live, so he could still have another shot after me. The point is—you never know what might happen so we are planning for life.

In case you think I’m being too flippant about the sacred institution of marriage, I have two things to say about that:

1)   Of course I am—that’s how I deal with important life decisions.

2)   I really am thankful to have this very unexpected, undeserved blessing in my life. It really is undeserved--I know so many other single ladies who will be much better wives than I could ever possibly be, and I don't know what Tim did to deserve me, because he's a decent guy who has only ever done maybe 2 or 3 regrettable things in his life, which he will feel badly about forever, I'm sure, which should be punishment enough without him having to share a house with me. I’ve often thought that since God has given me so many other good things, blessing me with someone to share life with seemed almost excessive. But He gave it to me anyway. So I’m looking forward to having someone along for the adventures (he doesn’t have a choice), who can reach the things on the top shelves for me (extra storage space in the kitchen that I could never use before!), who laughs at my jokes (most of them), and makes me laugh (often intentionally!), and who will only be apart from me for shorter periods of time when we both want to be apart and/or we are working, unlike friends and family up to this point who I’m always saying goodbye to for months or more while I pursue my dream of wandering around the world and occasionally doing something nice for other people. I think we make each other better -- and not just because I will make sure that he rinses the soap off after washing dishes and he will make sure that I stop eating gummy bears for breakfast (or I expect him to make a genuine effort on this at least).

He brought me some old gummy candy he found

It had all turned brown

I ate it anyway. It was not too bad.
Yeah, I'll probably die first.

So we’re getting married in February. I wish you all could come, but I also wish I could just sign papers and call it DONE, and that seems unlikely. I’ll try to find ways to video in friends from around the world or Facebook live it or something. I’ve already convinced Joanna to plan everything—if only she would stop asking me my opinion about things (she never used to care about that) and just accept that I don’t have an opinion, but I still want to do that wedding cake tasting thing that people do (or I think people do it because I saw it on a TV show once) because I like cake. And next year we’ll spend a few months in Burkina Faso, a few months in Northern Ireland, and a few months in Chad until we figure out where we want to end up. They say you should try to keep your first year of marriage somewhere familiar to both people and so we decided to spend it in between airports. And we’re happy, and we’re looking forward to the next chapters of our lives after this unexpected plot twist brought us together.

On the back porch at my parents' house in TN

Brace yourself for many more photos of me and Tim (don't act like you didn't want them).

In Cyprus when we were trying to decide if we wanted to like each other.

After climbing around a bunch of rocks in a canyon near Paphos,
we decided we did.

Had already been planning to visit my wonderful friends Micaela and Tim (it's what all the cool guys are called),
and Tim decided to come along. His first 15-17 hour flight as a 6'6"man (as a woman who might be 5'3" but isn't really sure, I've been on many such flights--thanks Mom and Dad for raising me in Indonesia!--and even I don't love them). He got called out by NZ immigration too and lost his driving license in Dubai so I had to drive the rental car.
I only knocked one mirror off driving in Wellington and we found it anyway and put it back on.

On the bridge in Zealandia, showing off how much taller he is

In front of a crater in Rotorua (NZ)

The Parthenon in Nashville makes excellent steps.
Standing on one makes me the same height.

Tim hates this photo because he says he looks like a goofy giant,
but I think we can all agree that my mom is the one who looks like a dork here.
Tim's trying to lean down to make it look like he isn't looming over her, but it didn't work.
I enjoyed listening to them having conversations, knowing that neither had any idea
what the other one had said, but politeness kept the conversation going smoothly.

Senegal selfies

Isn't this a nice photo?
We took it by accident while we were trying to get a ring photo and I kept laughing.
Tim proposed on Facetime without a ring after I specifically told him not to.
I didn't want to go ring shopping! But he made me in Senegal, and I knew
he would be no help, so I just did everything as fast as I could, and we are mad because we probably
could have saved at least 10.000CFA on the stone if we had bargained, but we made that
little old man and his son so happy! And then we had the ring bit made out of bronze, I think,
so that my finger will always be green, and that will remind me of Ireland, but
I won't talk about that because he's from NORTHERN Ireland, and anyway
it is very possible that this ring will break soon, so I'm telling everyone
that we did it on purpose so that our love will last longer than my ring.

We also took this photo of me trying to fix my hair
while Tim moans about how long it's taking.

Family portrait! Joe hasn't met him yet.
I hope he loves him, otherwise we will have to live separate lives.
(Tim and me, I mean--Joe sleeps on my bed. Unless Claire is staying over,
and then he sleeps on hers. Sorry, Claire!)

Too Many Photos to Choose, Too Many Stories to Tell

Look-it's a photo of me doing work!

Over the past month and a half, I’ve traveled in several countries, moved houses, done a bit of work, and had a serious marriage proposal over the phone from a very eligible Chadian doctor who just called to say he “loves me and wants to go to America” and “you’re not married—you should be married. Do you want to marry me?” So, it’s been pretty eventful. I’m traveling again for another several weeks, so I thought I’d update the blog a bit before life gets exciting again and I don’t have to open my computer.

First I went to New Zealand to visit very dear friends from Sudan who have since moved back Down Under, popped out a beautiful baby and have one more on the way. We’ve planned to meet up in many other exotic locations in the past: Kenya, Namibia, Iraq, but none of them worked out, so I had to go visit them in their new home. It was really great seeing them until poor Bella got sick and had to go to the hospital. Overall, it was great and my terrible photos won’t do it justice, so I’ll only post a few and you should just go visit New Zealand yourself to enjoy rolling hills of sheep, volcanoes, lakes the size of Singapore, beautiful beaches, and nice friendly people with cool accents.

Please enjoy the following photos you could have found better versions of on the internet:

New Zealand volcanic sulfur lake

New Zealand beautiful beach

New Zealand snow-capped mountain

New Zealand field with sheep some where.

After New Zealand, it was back to work for me. I flew back to Africa, specifically to Uganda to spend a week with Repent and Loguya in Arua and Koboko, with a side trip to the Congo, which was accomplished by use of good connections and multiple languages. If you want to cross borders without following the formal legal process, it really helps to be able to talk your way in. I spoke French. David spoke Swahili. Loguya spoke Kakwa. Repent and I spoke Arabic when we wanted to talk to each other about how we were running out of small money for “tea” to give to everyone who would say, “we can help you with the paperwork, but it’s so cold! Please give us money for tea to warm our hands” (presumably so that their fingers could grasp the pen needed to sign the entry forms.

At the border of South Sudan, Uganda, and Congo

In front of the Congo flag on Congolese soil!
We made it!

Drinking "protected" spring water to see how it tastes.
It tastes like metal mud, if you were wondering.

This is what you eat when Amanda buys you lunch.

Also ice cream.

And sometimes even healthy food!
But that was because we were at Repent's house and he wanted me
to try his corn. If you are a Moru, you MUST have a garden. 

It was quite cold actually. In fact, this cold messed up our e coli tests, which were supposed to be kept at a minimum of 25C, but definitely went down to 20-22C. If you’re not familiar with Celsius temperatures, anything below 25C is basically the Dead of Winter. We did some practice e coli tests, but I’m worried they might not be entirely accurate. We will have to re-do at some point. The good news is that at least the team knows how to do the test and they don’t have to have me there accidentally dropping bits of the packaging into the test pouch. I’m reconsidering having a second career as a surgeon. I think I’ll just go back to my original second career plan: sky-diving ballerina.

Someone taking a photo of me taking a photo of a nice patient lady.
Sometimes when I'm out walking Joe, people ask to take my photo.
I always let them because the chances of them doing something nefarious with
the photos does not cancel out my debt of gratitude to people who let me
take their photos for my work reports.

We tested that water! But our results were suspect...

The metal thingy is the school bell. You hit it with the mallet
and it makes a really loud noise, even if you just want to tap it to
see how it sounds. If you do tap it, all the children will come running
and you will have to apologize to all the teachers and the principal.

Duck.

I have so many bits of stories floating around in my head, but the power went off at 2am this morning and I didn’t get much sleep, so I can’t remember which stories actually happened and which ones were hallucinations. I’ll post the ones with photographic evidence here.

Please enjoy the following photos of me with Repent's family. His kids are cute. His mother is cute. I can't choose which ones not to post so I'm posting all of them. Scroll down to the end for some adorable photos of Joe.

With Joy and Halina--I just love these ladies.

Reunited with Repent's mother, who he got out of South Sudan
once the fighting got too bad in her area. Her health isn't great,
and I really didn't think I would ever see her again.

So it was wonderful to see my Moru mama again,
and she was so excited and pulled me onto her lap,
and told me all about her back pain and blood pressure
and how if anyone wants to marry me, he needs to
pay them 30 goats and some cows.

Repent and Joy's new baby Hanna!
Just too much cuteness.

Coffee with Mama because she likes it, even if I don't.

African hipster. Repent doesn't need those glasses.
They aren't prescription. He just thinks they look cool,
which they do, of course.

Back in South Sudanese church in Uganda--drums instead of
piano/organ/guitar.

Passionate Moru lady giving a testimony.

Additional sermon from Repent.

Off on our traditional trip to buy toys and candy with our Ombonje (white person)

Traveling in a bajaj/rickshaw

Ok, yes, I let them buy whatever they wanted and the 3 boys and Halina
all bought noisy plastic guns. I know it's not the best toy for refugee
children fleeing violence, but let's be honest: that gun is not like
any they've been close to in the past since South Sudan is not currently fighting a space war.

Smiley baby! 

Chewing on my hair.

While I was in Uganda, I got to meet up with  Ms Ruth and her daughter Joyce.
They are the first South Sudanese people I ever met, and Ms Ruth is one of those people
who inspires and motivates me in what I do. I met her at university in the US. I was a lonely, introverted freshman,
who did not want to be in America. The beautiful and tenacious Rachelle insisted on being my friend
and threw me into her ministry, working with Ms Ruth and the local refugee population in Memphis, where I was in school. It became my favorite part of university--the only place I really felt comfortable as a TCK re-entering my country with all my own prejudices and insecurities. With the refugees, caught between two countries, forced to be somewhere they wouldn't have chosen, I felt like we could understand each other, though my situation was never anywhere as traumatic as theirs.
Ms Ruth, a refugee herself, worked tirelessly to help everyone in her community. She was always ready with advice, encouragement, and kindness. She came to my university graduation when my own family couldn't be there.
It was such a great feeling to see her in Africa and to realize that I've worked in her hometown and to speak Juba Arabic with her and to see Joyce all grown up and following in her mother's footsteps.

And Now: a Moment with Joe

How cute is he all cuddled on the couch my last night in that house?

I found this tooth in my house. I tortured Joe several times by forcing his mouth
open and making sure he had all of his teeth. He did. This isn't one of his.
General consensus is that it is a goat tooth,
but that begs the question: how did it get in my house??

Joe enjoying the temporary rainy season swimming pool in front of
my new house. He loves the yard and always jumps to attention,
and runs around busily barking and protecting the garden
whenever I try to call him in. He's a dog on a mission who
can't waste time sitting around inside...unless there is a bone to gnaw on.