Everyone inside the car was FINE, Stanley.

Mark was worried that this photo looks like
something inappropriate is happening, but
I promise that Djibrine wasn't trying to grab
my boob. I was just trying to get the hook into
the thing to lower the spare tire, which
was more difficult since I'd previously
bashed the back of the truck in with a tree.

After Uganda, we slowly made our way over to Chad. Our flight left Entebbe at 3am on Sunday morning, so naturally, I couldn’t sleep at all on Saturday night. I had very elaborate, time-sensitive schedules for our time in Chad, involving me driving 4.5 hours Sunday afternoon, so it would have been a good idea to do a bit of sleeping, but sleeping is not one of my greater skills. Also, I had a problem on my mind: Hervé was supposed to be arriving back in Chad on the same flight as we were, meeting up with us in Addis on the way back from his trip to Kenya where he had been doing a training about sand dams with UNICEF. I’d told Leif (who was buying his ticket) that we needed him to fly back on 17 September to arrive in time for our trip south to Koudalwa and beyond. If you are a regular reader of this online cathartic journal of mine (Hi MOM!), you will recall that this is the location of the 16 hours in the mud and 9 hours of night-time motorcycling. I wanted Hervé with me to drive one car full of Americans and their luggage, while I drove the other car full of Americans and their luggage. On 16 September, having just arrived back in Entebbe where we would spend a few hours before our trip to Chad, I received a frantic message from Hervé, telling me that he had just noticed that his return trip was for December 17 and not, in fact, September 17, as we had requested. Leif was informed (“Oops,” he said), but there was nothing we could do to change the ticket, so I had resigned myself to making the trip alone, with Djibrine as the other driver.

Market photo that did not get me arrested.

17 September ended up being a day of crumbling chaos, that started off well with a 2am peanut butter milkshake in Entebbe (see previous post). Our flight in Addis was delayed for various reasons given to irate passengers that no one really believed (I've never seen customers get as passionately upset with flight delays as I do whenever I'm in the Addis Airport, but then again, I do spend a disproportional amount of time there compared with other airports).

We arrived 2 hours late to our office where the immigration guy, who came in on a Sunday to help us out, had been waiting for us. You know how people give Africans a hard time about punctuality? I’m just going to admit that in my experience, it all evens out to where I’m late as often as they are, but occasionally at inconvenient times for the other person, we may show up on time.  The immigration guy showed up on time, and likely he regretted it, like that one time I showed up punctually for church (never happened again). 

We left N’djamena around 5pm with a 4.5 hour drive ahead of us, mostly in the dark. I didn’t realize that Djibrine is an anti-speeder who kept to 60kmph (less than 40mph), a ridiculously slow speed that forced me to pass him and then call him multiple times, asking him to speed up because I realized that I shouldn’t leave him in the car with my boss, who he can’t communicate with, while I’m way up ahead, in case anything happens. Something did happen: I exploded a pigeon. It was not on purpose. And I honked at the dumb thing, which was sitting in the road like an idiot. It then proceeded to fly up into the windshield with a juicy thump.

Around 11pm we made it to the hotel. They’d given away our reservations and taken down mosquito nets that had been there when I’d visited previously. The boss’s face was super not happy with me. I made a big deal about reservations and honoring commitments and they found a few rooms for us, but two had to double up. Not Kiden, the Lone Woman, of course. I got to my room, caught the frog that was jumping around in the bathroom, threw it out the door, brushed the dead bug carcasses off the bed, and slept for almost 4 hours.

I picked up my frog prince and threw him out the door.
What was I thinking?!

The only outlet in the room was up high.
I needed to charge my battery.
So I plugged it in and tied it up there with my bikini top.
As they say, "Necessity is the mother of invention."

We left bright and early the next day. Backing out of the hotel driveway, I was hit by a giant evil-minded tree right in the middle of Nathan’s speech to me about trusting my driving. Then the first leg of this trip I’d timed (twice!) at 40 minutes until we got off the paved road to the dirt road took us 2 hours. Mostly, I blame Djibrine’s slow driving, but also, a dog committed suicide on my car bumper and I got a flat tire. Already mourning the death of yet another creature on my watch, I was starting to get concerned about my driving, assuming the flat was from my decision not to let the presence of the jagged pot holes keep me from maintaining maximum speed. In fact, it wasn’t. The guys fixing the tire called me over to show me the sharp piece of cow bone (I verified that it wasn’t dog bone) that had punctured the inner tube, causing a flat. I never would have noticed that little piece of bone in the road, but I do still have it and I plan to make it into a talisman to hang on my rearview mirror to warn off other animals.

Marching up to the police with my permits.
Do not mess with me when I have paperwork.

While we were fixing the tire, Djibrine told me that I could let the guys film in the market—after all I had all the permits. Nathan was quickly grabbed up by bored police who did not appreciate my self-righteous defense of his cameras. Djibrine had to go off and sort that out. We finally arrived in Koudalwa around 2pm with 40k to go to get to the village. We piled into one car for the trip in, which our faithful guide Ramadan assured us to be dry enough to get through. It was dry enough, but it also went through a forest. And eventually there were too many trees for us to pass through. A motorcycle would have made it and Ramadan has a motorcycle. But we called it around 4pm. Mark said, “This is the first time in the history of Neverthirst that we have not made it to a village.” So-Infamy achieved. Thanks a lot, Chad.

I sat on the floor in the back of the car as penance for all
my bad ideas on this trip.

I also made peanut-butter stuffed brownies
to try to encourage everyone.
They were well received.
Even "I'll Just Have a Power Bar" Mark liked them.

We embarked on the long, slow, dark trip back to Bongor and the hotel, which was promised to have mosquito nets, dinner, and enough rooms for all this time. At 12am, Djibrine’s car refused to go any further, having already been subjected to the abuse of the forest trip. Mark, John, and I pushed it off the road to a nearby village and we all got in the other car to drive the last 15k. We arrived at 1am, ate a hasty dinner of meat and bread, and slept for a few more hours under brand new mosquito nets. They kindly gave me the pink one, to remind me of my gender probably.

This might have been when we called it.
Hard to know the exact moment.
Djibrine sitting in the dirt, does help you get
a sense of the level of Discouragement.

The next day, we left Djibrine behind to deal with the car, and Amanda became the sole driver back to N’Djamena. Yes, there was much gasping and clutching at door handles as she drove, but she also made it there in 4.5 hours, thank you very much, without any other deaths or injuries. Americans can be so dramatic, especially the men.

Fortunately, the rest of the trip went well, gaining some good footage for videos and encouraging the Neverthirst team to keep Chad on our list of places where we work (and Amanda as an employee). I spent lots of time driving and translating and enlisting the help of generous friends to arrange for the last day to be spent at the Hilton (thanks, Rhyan-I hereby donate my new name “Itoru” to you, Savior of the Americans and my possibly my job!) to help delicate Americans recover before their long trip home. In the end, it was a good visit, full of adequate unavoidable adventures, and no one asked to be put on the list of “People Who Will Never Travel with Amanda Again,” and two of the 4 guys said that Chad is one of their favorite places they’ve traveled and one of those guys has actually travelled to many places so his opinion was quite valid even. I get a lot of haters out here in Chad, so I’m always happy to have people who will laugh with me through the disasters and find the beauty in a harsh environment.

Mark took this photo of me taking a goat selfie.

Filming mommies is fun because I can hold their babies while I'm translating.

You can't tell, but I was super happy to be riding and not driving.
I was pretty bruised up after this though, thanks to Hervé's driving.

Hervé and Djibrine chilling while we do the interviews.
If one of them would just learn English already, I wouldn't have to be the only translator!

Absa liked pulling my hair. I loved Absa for being the best little 360 video actress ever.
And gorgeous.

Here is one of her actually smiling.
Too late to delete the other one now.

Absa's father and brother busting out the bow and arrows.

We were allowed into the cattle market with strict instructions not to photograph anyone.
Naturally, I took quite a few photos. You can't tell ME what to do.

Cattle Market day made Dourbali super cool.
The guys thought it was like the Old West, with everyone riding in on their horses.
Probably this day redeemed the whole trip for everyone and saved my job.
Good thing this was the last day of filming.

See the very different quality of this photo (and the following one)?
I didn't take them. But maybe you already noticed since I'm actually in the photo.

Supervising the filming.
(This filter really shows off the dirt on my skirt. Thanks a lot, Kyle.)

Rhyan is the best. The Hilton is a little Oasis in the middle of N'djamena.
It's not real life, of course, but it was a nice recovery time for the guys.

Leaving the Hilton, someone thought it was hilarious that they
were all walking around me like they were my body guards.
Let me just take a moment to point out that I was always
going to be the one taking care of them in the event of anything happening.
But they wanted to pose for this photo, which I found slightly humiliating,
and I kept telling them that I actually have to live here!
But I guess I owed them this moment for all of the pain...
Enjoy, guys. Enjoy.


And finally, I know the title is from the Office, but I'll leave you with a classic reference from The Wind in the Willows, as Mr Toad has long been my alter-ego, especially when it comes to driving and adventures (and this drawing is amazingly close to depicting what happened  to the pigeon incident):



"Sit still, and you shall know what driving really is, for you are in the hands of the famous, the skilful, the entirely fearless Toad!"

Sand-colored Skin

Do you ever have those days (weeks/months) where you just want to stay in bed forever and sleep away your life? I do sometimes. These are mostly introvert recovery days combined with being bored in the office for too long. I perk up when my life gets more exciting or kindly friends drag me from the darkness. Literal darkness because that helps with the whole sleeping/brooding thing.

Anyway, it’s good for me to write down the things that make me participate in Life again because I do go back and read what I wrote to remind myself that I really have it pretty dang good. I sometimes realize this after having conversations with colleagues like a recent one I had with Urbain about where I’ve traveled. He was really interested and seemed a bit wistful of my story about swimming in the Dead Sea and climbing the Great Wall of China. I feel a bit guilty over all the great experiences I’ve had that others without such acceptable passports, moderately flexible income, and enabling jobs will not have. I recognize my privilege and admit that it isn’t fair. Then somehow the conversation went back to my lack of a husband, ending with Urbain feeling incredibly sad for me (his words), so then I felt less sad for him (because why should both of us be sad?) and all was right with the world.

-->

So after a week of brooding Darkness, I emerged into a world of in-country travel to remote locations, which brought with it Chad-style adventures and a few sleepless nights. But of course, I’d already stocked up on sleep, so it wasn’t a problem. I will tell the story with photos and captions because our internet is working now so it might be possible!

Lots of trips these days involve getting out/down and walking because the car/motorcycle can't go.
Thanks to Herve for this splendid photo of me picking my way across a pond.
(Note: this is in N'djamena.)

What happens when the camera man is taking a photo before anyone is ready.
I feel like this is pretty typical no matter where you are or what you're doing.
I'm laughing because Baby Girl is trying to eat my hair.

Then we popped back down to Koudalwa (and beyond) to open this first
Neverthirst/IAS well in the little village of Badel.
Don't worry--the platform on this has been extended and the water is draining into a garden now.

We bring everyone together to do the report.
Of course the women and men sit on opposite sides of me so that I have to
spin around like a ballerina the whole time I'm talking.

We do our reports on the ipad, as you can see here.
Also, Amanda talks with her hands.
Keep a safe distance.

I hate telling people to "smile for the photos"
because it feels exploitative, so instead I make jokes about
how the kids are afraid of the creepy white woman,
and then they laugh. The trick it to get the photo at the right moment.

Taking a photo of the old water source,
a very serious moment for everyone, since
I'm not making jokes and I'm a little concerned that
I might drop the ipad down the well.

Some village-life scenes:

Women pounding grain. They often do it together to the rhythm of a song.
I do have a video of them doing that, but too bad for you--internet is not awesome today.
Guess you'll just have to come visit and see for yourself.

I just thought this guy and his horse were cool looking.
He thought I was a bit weird, but let me take the photo.

And then This happened:

From about 8pm to 3am everyone dug around in the mud and jammed bits of trees under the tires.
It did not work.
I usually get out and help because I like to prove the girl power, but it was icky mud.
So I played the princess card and decided to sleep while everyone else was working,
so that I could drive the remaining 9 hours home while everyone else slept in the car.
I did end up driving most of the way back, but it didn't let the others sleep much because
they are men and they still felt the need to criticize my driving--
"Down shift, down shift! SLOW DOWN! You popped a tire. This is because women don't know how to drive in the bush."
(Oh yeah?! And who popped a tire TWICE on our trip last week, Djibrine?? It was not a WOMAN!)

Oh the beauty of the sun, rising up over the weary travelers and their muddy vehicle!

These were our options--Mud Pond Road or Grass Swamp Path.
We took the road less travelled and that made all the difference.
And we were stuck there for 16 hours...
Robert Frost is an idiot.

Once we realized that we could not dig the car out or pull it out with a rope attached to another rickety vehicle, we sent someone back to the big village for help (we also had no cell reception and no food/water). We sent him at 7:30am, and he didn't come back until 12:30. Amanda amused herself in various ways, usually maintaining her trademark positive attitude until the group of men who came back to "help" insisted on being paid 125,000CFA to get the car out. Everyone involved knew this was absolutely ridiculous, but they said, "You have a nasara with you. You are rich and you should pay us lots of money." Amanda may or may not have lost her temper and yelled at people. OK, she did. Anyway, we negotiated down, which was important because we didn't have 125,000CFA with us to give them. And they lifted the car out with their man power in less than 10 minutes.

Anyway, enjoy photos of Positive Attitude Amanda. There are no photos of Negative Attitude Amanda because when Amanda is angry, her eyes turn red and sparks fly around her head and even if you take a photo, it won't show up on the film...

Standing in front of a mud hole is the perfect time to practice taking selfies.

I got progressively worse at it.

So I climbed a tree

Djbrine and Urbain stayed below

I was comfy though.
We finally made it home at 1am the next day.

Then I had one day of rest before a spontaneous trip north to the Sahara Desert, the opposite side of the beautiful country of Chad. Trip made possible by MAF Chad. I was going to say that I already like them more that MAF South Sudan, but then again, MAF South Sudan flew into a war zone to rescue me, so we're cool now. This was just an over night trip, where I stayed with a friend in Faya, met with a bunch of government officials, and planned a water program. It was fun, even if we didn't get a chance to slide down sand dunes, but I was promised that for the next trip.

I really appreciate this warning.
I promise we did not take off with snow on the aircraft.

I co-piloted. I also look like Princess Leia in this photo-
crazy eyes, cinnamon bun-things over my ears.

We had to wait for parachuters before we could fly.
I really want to jump out of a plane. When I mention this to pilots,
they think it's hilarious to offer to take me up and let me jump out of the plane (but I can't promise you a parachute!).
Pilot sense of humor is not as funny as they think it is--but don't tell them:
you want them to be thinking happy thoughts when you fly so the pixie dust will work.

Faya is the largest oasis town in the world.
Here is some locally-grown fruit:
grapes, dates, and figs.

I really like the desert. I like sand. I like rocks. I like wind. I like sun.

Hiking up a sand dune.

I'm so good at panoramas now.

My bag, sitting inside the porch area of the house.

With my gracious host.

Night-time entertainment--playing Angry Birds on the ipad.

Waking up after sleeping outside under the stars and getting rained on (for real!).
Breakfast of hot milk and fruit. 

Incense burned over coals. You sit by it to make your clothes that you slept in last night smell better.

She looks like she hates me, but she doesn't--she even made me this beautiful covering
that you put over food to keep the sand from blowing on it.
It will come in handy for sure.

I don't care what you think, that it beautiful.

I always play with bullets when I'm in Faya.

Enjoying the scenery.

We climbed up the rock!
And somewhere around here is where he told me that my skin is the color of the sand.
Snow White may have had skin like snow, but I've always liked sand more than snow anyway.

Three days and 1500+ km later, same story.
This time car is stuck in the sand.
I helped get it out and we were only stuck for an hour.

One more trip to finish out the week!

I admired this woman's house and she let me take a photo.
Pretty, non? And she did it without Pintrest! Amazing.

I make origami animals to entertain children. I grew up in Asia.
Photo credit to the beautiful Rhyan who accompanied me on this trip.

She also took this photo of me in action, even after I did only nice things for her.

I feel a particular affinity for the nomads these days and my whole life.
They are also on the move right now, but someday soon we might pick a place to settle down for a few months.

If this seems like a particularly long post, it was a particularly long week. Now those of you who made it through (hi, Mom!) know what I go through (For The Children).