For Becca...who told me to write about it

I have to confess that when Facebook first started the status thing, I did not like it. Mostly because there was this place on my page saying "What are you doing right now?" and I always wanted to answer "None of your business. Leave me alone, you stupid #W$%1#$%^&%$#!." But I didn't. And then I moved to Syria where facebook was blocked, and something about the forbidden-ness of it made it interesting to me again. After I got out of Syria, I became addicted. And the status thing now gives me great joy. I especially love it when I can condense my whole day into one random sentence that causes people to comment because they are so curious as to what I meant by it. And Becca took the bait on my latest status and suggested I blog about it. Because it is such a good story involving Scott, sheesha and a marriage proposal from the Greek god of beauty, I think I will.

On Saturday we were invited for a lovely dinner in a seaside restaurant by our Armenian friend from church whose name is Adonis. He has a sister named Artemis. Unfortunately, his other brothers don't have as exciting names...I was disappointed when he told me this.

So we sat down to dinner, and we all tried to make pleasant conversation. And by all, I mean me. I have this thing about filling up awkward silences, which frustrates Emily because I don't usually give her time to talk during our visits because I maintain a constant stream of annoying chatter. She wonders why I'm always so exhausted after a few hours of eating and drinking with friends... Finally Adonis decided to include Scott and Emily in the conversation and used the classic question "What are your hobbies?" This was awkward for me, as it seemed that every one of the things I like to do are also particular favorites of a certain young man named after a Greek god (no, I will not stop using this joke throughout the whole blog...prepare yourself). Finally, he got to Scott. Scott was prepared. He started off smoothly but got confused by the fact that drawing, pencil, and bullet are similar words. He proceeded to calmly inform Adonis that he loves bullets. Adonis looked surprised and tried to think of something nice to say about Scott's deep love for ammunition. Another person may have realized that this was a language mistake, but we do live in Lebanon and guns are plentiful and maybe somewhere here there is someone who really just loves bullets. Adonis realized his mistake when I lost all control and cried onto the tablecloth. Scott is a good sport and wasn't too offended. I mean, he makes fun of me for my mistakes (usually involving dead plants, broken knick-knacks not belonging to me, clumsy moments of walking in people's food and spilling tea on children), so I think it's only fair...

The bullet hobby was the high point of my day, but besides a free meal, I also got a marriage proposal that day, so all in all, there were many things to be thankful for that Saturday. I left once during the meal to go to the bathroom, and Adonis took that opportunity to quiz Scott and Emily about my love life. Scott, trying to help me out, insinuated that I had someone back in the States, but somehow led Adonis to believe that it was painful for me to talk about. I am still not sure how he managed to do this without perjuring his soul, but maybe a few years in purgatory are still in order for him. Emily took a true woman's position by telling him that I am focused on my career right now and don't want to settle down. When I got back, I knew that something had changed in the dinnertime atmosphere. Adonis did not waste a moment. He went right in for the kill, asking me what my feelings on love were. I played dumb and pretended not to understand so he made it even more awkward by asking me flat out if I had a boyfriend (thank you, Scott) because if not, he loves me... So, being a truthful person, I had to say no which unfortunately encouraged him. The whole conversation was painful (to me) in spite of getting a phone call from Emily (trying to diffuse the situation) and Scott (for the same reason) asking if my argila needed more coals (don't worry, I did not inhale...we had to smoke it to be polite). But I managed to convince him that it is not the right time for me to marry, I'm focused on my career (it really was a good line, Emily), and I'm not ready to settle down. He was disappointed but took it well, I think. On the whole, it's probably best that we got that conversation out of the way. He still calls me several times a day, but you got to hand it to him. I mean, he has guts. It takes a lot to ask a girl out in front of her friends, and I do not generally respond well to marriage proposals. You may not know this about me, but I do hate letting people down. In Syria, I once had my boss dictate to me a nice thing to say to an American guy who asked me out clubbing. (Seriously? In Damascus?) I read it off to him from my little notebook over the phone...I don't know if it worked because the connection got cut off and I didn't want to call him back. He never called again, so I think it must have been a good speech. I have it saved somewhere in case I need to use it again.

So that was the gist of the day, Becca. There was also a long evening of coffee and tea and girl talk at another friend's house later on. It wasn't as girl-talky as the last time I hung out with this friend. I was kind of disappointed because the last time I pretended I was at a high school sleepover (in my mind) and got really into analyzing the head movements of a particular guy to decide if he really liked my friend or not. It was amazingly entertaining. I never knew how fun girl talk could be!