American Domestic Travels--killing time in an airport (as usual)

Usually the Nashville airport is bristling with guitars and unrealistic dreams of singer-songwriter glory, but I actually saw my first guitar in Minneapolis.  Maybe it was because I was departing and not paying attention to the arriving flights—the TV was playing CNN and I was reading the subtitles, so maybe that was why I didn’t notice any. But I did notice an unnatural number of people in thin little short-sleeved t-shirts in the dead of winter. I think cohabitating with polar bears has made these people impervious to the cold. They also probably understand about things like slaloming and luging.

Now I’m in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. When I arrived, I had to walk to the other side of the airport. I think this is because I’m flying to California, and they wanted to cut down on my flight time. Now, instead of a 16-hour flight that I probably would have had, I only have to fly for 4 hours to get there.  I walked in only the sunny spots of the airport to try to warm up because the dang Delta flight opened the door before the tunnel was connected to my plane. My pants froze to my legs. When the pilot said, “It’s 7 degrees outside!” I thought, “No problem. I can do 7 degrees because I’m wearing 2 long-sleeved shirts and a fleece-lined coat.” Then he added, “Fahrenheit.” And I wondered again how this part of the country ever became inhabited. There are places like Hawaii with perfect weather year-round...But still people live here and not there. I don’t understand it.

 

This is a photo of Minneapolis when I arrived.
Ignore that bit about "O Canada photos.com"--Canadians are always
 trying to take credit for everything.

Also, the US is too big. It is annoying to have to fly millions of miles to get to another state. I know that Manifest Destiny was a thing and all, but that’s done. Let’s chop down the US into more manageable chunks and also require my family to live in the same chunk, within an hour’s flight time from each other, because otherwise it’s just too complicated.

And now I will sit here for another 4 hours, waiting for my flight, wishing that I had brought my gloves because my fingers are freezing.  Build a giant fireplace at each gate or turn on your heat, MSP. Also, to the skinny blonde in a tank top walking across the F Concourse: You are an idiot. You deserve to die of frostbite.