Genuine African Tourism

Giraffe and Tree

Most of my African tourism has been accidental or on the way to somewhere else. But I finally did a real African tourist activity—I went on safari to Zakouma National Park. But in typical Amanda-fashion, it was a snap decision, based on little to no scheduling information without any input from outside sources. I was also super lazy about finding out anything about the trip. I let Annie run around and do everything because she is a grown up for real often and I mostly just pretend for the sake of societal expectations for women of my age.

In spite of my laissez-faire attitude towards the trip planning part of the program, I made it on the flight! Of course, as it was a friend of mine who was flying the plane, I would have had to be really negligent not to make it. I have the potential to be that negligent, but being raised by Peter Stillman, champion of prompt airport arrival times and Being Organized, has engendered in me a certain respect for airport punctuality that most definitely would not have occurred naturally. In the interest of full disclosure, I was a bit late for Naomi’s pick up from the office, as Joe decided it would be hilarious to make me chase him around the yard instead of getting in the car like a nice dog so I could drop him off at the office where he would spend the next few days. Not wanting him to be eaten by a lion he tried to make friends with, I thought it best to leave him in the big city.

To get to Zakouma National Park from N’djamena you have several options.

Option A) You commit to a very long day of driving, hoping for no break downs, flat tires or impassable road conditions.

Option B) You commit to driving for two days, with a stopover in Bitkine or Mongo probably. You still hope for no  break downs or flat tires, but you have some leeway to deal with those problems. Impassable road conditions are probably going to stop you anyway.

There is a giraffe in the middle of
this photo I took from the plane--
zoom in to see!

Option C) You hire a very expensive private plane to take you. This is kind of what I did. In fact, I jumped on a MAF flight with a MAF pilot and his family, celebrating their last trip to Zakouma before they move on to greener pastures. Literally. They are leaving Chad so pretty much anywhere they go will be greener than here. We were also joined by a South African pilot for a couple of days who was in charge of flying the plane back a bit early to pick up another client from a different town and fly them all over before coming back to pick us up. There was also another South African family who joined us, bringing all their Kruger National Park experience with them. And then there were Annie and Amanda, the tag-a-long ladies, unencumbered by children or husbands. We were also first-time safari ladies. (Note for the Indo people: I shouldn’t count Taman Safari, right? That doesn’t count because it was not real. Though we did have giraffes licking the windows and zebras blocking the road.)

Selfie with giraffes coming out the top of my head

We stayed in the slightly cheaper camp, which was actually quite nice. Annie and I shared a room with an enthusiastically loud fan that would have drowned out the loudest bar musician in the world. I wished I could have taken it home with me, though I sometimes worry about those kind of fans shaking themselves loose from the ceiling and falling on me in the middle of the night, maiming me forever.

Meals were included in the accommodation because there is no where else to buy food there. I know that French cuisine gets lots of accolades, but I’m not a huge fan. There is not enough spice in it and way too many creams and sauces with varying bland tastes and slimy textures. Annie nobly ate all her food, setting a good example for the children, but I was on vacation sort of and I felt free to refuse to eat salads dripping with mayonnaise-based sauces and covered in sardines, aka cat food. I also don’t like hard boiled eggs because they look like an eyeball and smell like a fart. I did say this in front of the children, which probably wasn’t very nice of me, but the youngest child learned how to say a new word (eyeball, not fart—he’ll get that one later as he has an older brother), and it’s always good to expand the vocabulary of young children.  At any rate, they didn’t bring me along because I would be a good influence on the children. That’s why they invited Annie. She is to blame for me. So indirectly it is her fault that I got some children in trouble for throwing rocks into the crocodile pond. No crocodiles were injured in the game. I just wanted to see how the green water would sploosh.

Fellow salad-hating TCK and a baby giraffe carcass

Enough about the accommodations and setting examples for children—we went to see the animals! And we weren’t disappointed. The best time to go to Zakouma is during the dry season. In the rainy season all the bushes and trees and elephant grass are good hiding places and the animals can find more remote sources of water to stay away from the few intrepid tourists that make it all the way out there to see them. February is in the middle of dry season, and usually not supposed to be hot. Hot season came early this year, though, and I’m ok with it.

We piled into an open vehicle and drove around the park several times a day looking for animals. We saw plenty of giraffes, lions, and even several elephants every day. We also saw ostriches, crocodiles, buffalo, baboons, civet cats, genets, mongoose, warthogs, and hyenas. And more, but I can’t remember the names of all the birds because there were a lot of them and they aren’t as exciting to photograph as lions.

This is what our open car looked like.
Lions could have jumped in if they were hungry.
We had snacks. 

It was fun driving around and looking at animals. Everyone was supposed to be really quiet so we didn’t scare them away in spite of the fact that the car was bouncing around. I think it could have been a parental rule so that children had to whisper-yell for their parents to give them snacks.

Annie was a bit perturbed by the nearness of various packs of lions eating their prey. Once when we drove past a lion on her side of the car, she dove into my lap, thinking I could protect her, I guess. I did. She is still alive today. I may have also traumatized her a bit taking her for a walk near our camp to the crocodile pond. We got a bit too close and one jumped out at us. There was screaming. We found an alternative route back to the camp. It turns out, crocodiles can climb rocks, though I’d assured Annie they could not minutes prior to the attack. After that experience she refused to come on the walking tour, though we had a guide with a gun.

Wildlife even in the bathrooms!
I can't get away from bats.

I really enjoyed walking around in the early morning. We never saw as many animals early in the morning as we did in the late afternoon and evening drives, but we did get to walk up to some lions eating a dead baby giraffe. We passed by some on their way to the kill and they weren’t happy to see us. They growled a bit and I noticed that the guide’s hand clutched his gun a bit, but sadly, there were no exciting attacks on the walk either.

In conclusion, you should go visit Zakouma National Park. It’s even better than Kruger National Park, according to the South Africans, because there are no rules! (OK, so they didn’t say that it was better, but they did say that there were more rules at Kruger, including staying on the road at all times and signing up a year in advance for a walking tour.)

Chad=Freedom

 And now please enjoy a selection of terrible photos I took because mostly I let everyone else with fancy cameras take nice photos. Anyway, why do you need nice photos of lions eating baby giraffes? That's why we have the internet!

Buffalos. Apparently one of the Big 5, but kind of boring.

Intrepid Walking Tour Group.

Walking Tour Guide with Gun

We interrupted the lions eating this giraffe carcass
during our walking tour. They left us to photograph
and then came back after we left.
We saw them again later when we were in the car a couple hours later.
It takes a long time to eat a baby giraffe apparently.
Interestingly, they were fine sticking around with their food
when we were in the car, but they left quickly when we were on foot.

Close up.

Hyena

Deer thing. We saw lots of the fancy deer/antelope.
I'm less excited by these various types of exotic cattle.

Giraffes are cool though.

Elephants are always cool

Lion. Ferocious. Violent. Yes.

Back seat selfie

TCKs become friends easily

Eating some South African sausage together. Good stuff.

Two giraffes. We saw a lot of them. They're cool
so your instinct is always to take photos.

Biawak/monitor lizard. Less cool because I've seen these a lot in Indo
and I've eaten them too. They taste gross. But slimy French salad is worse.

Lion under bush. She hates tourists.

Pregnant and cranky and not craving weird stork bird things.

The broken road where I confidently told Annie that crocodiles can't
climb rocks. Did I know this for sure? No. But I really convinced myself that it was true.
Then a crocodile jumped out at us from under the broken bit of road.
Annie doesn't trust me anymore with my Animal Facts.

She's smiling here because we haven't yet been attacked by crocodiles.

I made her take a million photos of me standing in elephant footprints,
which is what I'm doing here, to show the size. 

Here I'm sitting in a footprint

Here is my selfie in an elephant footprint.
You can't tell that I'm in a footprint though,
and that's why I made Annie take all the other photos.
Elephants are big. Sorry my photos are terrible.
Google "Zakouma National Park" and enjoy some photos taken by real photographers.

Sand-colored Skin

Do you ever have those days (weeks/months) where you just want to stay in bed forever and sleep away your life? I do sometimes. These are mostly introvert recovery days combined with being bored in the office for too long. I perk up when my life gets more exciting or kindly friends drag me from the darkness. Literal darkness because that helps with the whole sleeping/brooding thing.

Anyway, it’s good for me to write down the things that make me participate in Life again because I do go back and read what I wrote to remind myself that I really have it pretty dang good. I sometimes realize this after having conversations with colleagues like a recent one I had with Urbain about where I’ve traveled. He was really interested and seemed a bit wistful of my story about swimming in the Dead Sea and climbing the Great Wall of China. I feel a bit guilty over all the great experiences I’ve had that others without such acceptable passports, moderately flexible income, and enabling jobs will not have. I recognize my privilege and admit that it isn’t fair. Then somehow the conversation went back to my lack of a husband, ending with Urbain feeling incredibly sad for me (his words), so then I felt less sad for him (because why should both of us be sad?) and all was right with the world.

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So after a week of brooding Darkness, I emerged into a world of in-country travel to remote locations, which brought with it Chad-style adventures and a few sleepless nights. But of course, I’d already stocked up on sleep, so it wasn’t a problem. I will tell the story with photos and captions because our internet is working now so it might be possible!

Lots of trips these days involve getting out/down and walking because the car/motorcycle can't go.
Thanks to Herve for this splendid photo of me picking my way across a pond.
(Note: this is in N'djamena.)

What happens when the camera man is taking a photo before anyone is ready.
I feel like this is pretty typical no matter where you are or what you're doing.
I'm laughing because Baby Girl is trying to eat my hair.

Then we popped back down to Koudalwa (and beyond) to open this first
Neverthirst/IAS well in the little village of Badel.
Don't worry--the platform on this has been extended and the water is draining into a garden now.

We bring everyone together to do the report.
Of course the women and men sit on opposite sides of me so that I have to
spin around like a ballerina the whole time I'm talking.

We do our reports on the ipad, as you can see here.
Also, Amanda talks with her hands.
Keep a safe distance.

I hate telling people to "smile for the photos"
because it feels exploitative, so instead I make jokes about
how the kids are afraid of the creepy white woman,
and then they laugh. The trick it to get the photo at the right moment.

Taking a photo of the old water source,
a very serious moment for everyone, since
I'm not making jokes and I'm a little concerned that
I might drop the ipad down the well.

Some village-life scenes:

Women pounding grain. They often do it together to the rhythm of a song.
I do have a video of them doing that, but too bad for you--internet is not awesome today.
Guess you'll just have to come visit and see for yourself.

I just thought this guy and his horse were cool looking.
He thought I was a bit weird, but let me take the photo.

And then This happened:

From about 8pm to 3am everyone dug around in the mud and jammed bits of trees under the tires.
It did not work.
I usually get out and help because I like to prove the girl power, but it was icky mud.
So I played the princess card and decided to sleep while everyone else was working,
so that I could drive the remaining 9 hours home while everyone else slept in the car.
I did end up driving most of the way back, but it didn't let the others sleep much because
they are men and they still felt the need to criticize my driving--
"Down shift, down shift! SLOW DOWN! You popped a tire. This is because women don't know how to drive in the bush."
(Oh yeah?! And who popped a tire TWICE on our trip last week, Djibrine?? It was not a WOMAN!)

Oh the beauty of the sun, rising up over the weary travelers and their muddy vehicle!

These were our options--Mud Pond Road or Grass Swamp Path.
We took the road less travelled and that made all the difference.
And we were stuck there for 16 hours...
Robert Frost is an idiot.

Once we realized that we could not dig the car out or pull it out with a rope attached to another rickety vehicle, we sent someone back to the big village for help (we also had no cell reception and no food/water). We sent him at 7:30am, and he didn't come back until 12:30. Amanda amused herself in various ways, usually maintaining her trademark positive attitude until the group of men who came back to "help" insisted on being paid 125,000CFA to get the car out. Everyone involved knew this was absolutely ridiculous, but they said, "You have a nasara with you. You are rich and you should pay us lots of money." Amanda may or may not have lost her temper and yelled at people. OK, she did. Anyway, we negotiated down, which was important because we didn't have 125,000CFA with us to give them. And they lifted the car out with their man power in less than 10 minutes.

Anyway, enjoy photos of Positive Attitude Amanda. There are no photos of Negative Attitude Amanda because when Amanda is angry, her eyes turn red and sparks fly around her head and even if you take a photo, it won't show up on the film...

Standing in front of a mud hole is the perfect time to practice taking selfies.

I got progressively worse at it.

So I climbed a tree

Djbrine and Urbain stayed below

I was comfy though.
We finally made it home at 1am the next day.

Then I had one day of rest before a spontaneous trip north to the Sahara Desert, the opposite side of the beautiful country of Chad. Trip made possible by MAF Chad. I was going to say that I already like them more that MAF South Sudan, but then again, MAF South Sudan flew into a war zone to rescue me, so we're cool now. This was just an over night trip, where I stayed with a friend in Faya, met with a bunch of government officials, and planned a water program. It was fun, even if we didn't get a chance to slide down sand dunes, but I was promised that for the next trip.

I really appreciate this warning.
I promise we did not take off with snow on the aircraft.

I co-piloted. I also look like Princess Leia in this photo-
crazy eyes, cinnamon bun-things over my ears.

We had to wait for parachuters before we could fly.
I really want to jump out of a plane. When I mention this to pilots,
they think it's hilarious to offer to take me up and let me jump out of the plane (but I can't promise you a parachute!).
Pilot sense of humor is not as funny as they think it is--but don't tell them:
you want them to be thinking happy thoughts when you fly so the pixie dust will work.

Faya is the largest oasis town in the world.
Here is some locally-grown fruit:
grapes, dates, and figs.

I really like the desert. I like sand. I like rocks. I like wind. I like sun.

Hiking up a sand dune.

I'm so good at panoramas now.

My bag, sitting inside the porch area of the house.

With my gracious host.

Night-time entertainment--playing Angry Birds on the ipad.

Waking up after sleeping outside under the stars and getting rained on (for real!).
Breakfast of hot milk and fruit. 

Incense burned over coals. You sit by it to make your clothes that you slept in last night smell better.

She looks like she hates me, but she doesn't--she even made me this beautiful covering
that you put over food to keep the sand from blowing on it.
It will come in handy for sure.

I don't care what you think, that it beautiful.

I always play with bullets when I'm in Faya.

Enjoying the scenery.

We climbed up the rock!
And somewhere around here is where he told me that my skin is the color of the sand.
Snow White may have had skin like snow, but I've always liked sand more than snow anyway.

Three days and 1500+ km later, same story.
This time car is stuck in the sand.
I helped get it out and we were only stuck for an hour.

One more trip to finish out the week!

I admired this woman's house and she let me take a photo.
Pretty, non? And she did it without Pintrest! Amazing.

I make origami animals to entertain children. I grew up in Asia.
Photo credit to the beautiful Rhyan who accompanied me on this trip.

She also took this photo of me in action, even after I did only nice things for her.

I feel a particular affinity for the nomads these days and my whole life.
They are also on the move right now, but someday soon we might pick a place to settle down for a few months.

If this seems like a particularly long post, it was a particularly long week. Now those of you who made it through (hi, Mom!) know what I go through (For The Children).