In community-oriented cultures like those in the Middle East, often there are complicated ritual greetings. The Middle Eastern kiss of greeting was made famous by Judas Iscariot in the Bible. Although that kiss was technically part of the Jewish tradition rather than the Arab tradition, a small amount of research will show the vast number of similarities between these two semitic cultures. However, there are some variances in kissing style based on gender, age, and country. This essay will attempt to dissect these differences for the common man's simple understanding with regards to the traditional kiss of the Levant.
In general, a person living or traveling in the Middle East will benefit greatly from the possession of the Y chromosome. But when it comes to kissing, my personal space issues and hatred of unnecessary physical contact make me glad to be female. (Personally, I avoid kissing whenever possible. I don't kiss my sisters or mom. I kiss my dad only if I need something and think that would persuade him. If I do kiss something voluntarily it is usually a cute child under the age of 5 or a cute animal, usually furry but not necessarily. I have kissed many turtles and frogs, but I think they are cute.) Ordinarily, when women kiss each other, there is no lip-cheek contact. Cheeks bump lightly and kissing noises are made. Most of the time, I am still able to be inquiring as to the health and overall well-being of my friend and all her relatives and so manage to skip the kissing noise. On the other hand, when I have observed the kiss of greeting between men, I have noticed that there tends to be exuberant lip-cheek contact. Apparently, this is construed as an acceptable manly display of affection. As is clinging tightly to each other while riding closely on small pink motorbikes...but that is a subject for a different essay.
While I mentioned that women usually refrain from lip-cheek contact, the main exception is
the elderly population. Old women will often pucker their lips intensely and tilt their heads to achieve maximum contact. Only my steely will-power keeps me from cringing. Also, I really like little old women, and I want them to like me.
Finally, my frequent moves have allowed me to compare the varying kissing patterns of different countries. In Jordan and Syria, the pattern goes like this: kiss on the left cheek of your friend, then move to the right cheek. A good friend kisses at least twice on the right cheek. An enthusiastic friend kisses multiple times on the right cheek. It is confusing for foreigners new to the system. We often feel awkward going in for an unexpected kiss or being pulled into an extra kiss we weren't expecting. My way of dealing with this problem is to always go in for the extra kiss with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. This shows your friend that you really love her and, as most pop songs will remind you, love is the most important thing of all. Love will keep us together.
After mastering the kissing technique of Jordan and Syria, I moved to Lebanon where I currently reside. The Lebanese, perhaps more influenced by their Western colonizers that their Levantine neighbors, kiss in a more European style: left cheek, right cheek. Good friends repeat this at least twice. Again, when in doubt, go in for the extra kiss to show you really care and that there's no love like your love and no other can give more love.
Hopefully, this little essay will help you to successfully manage your next encounter with Middle Easterners from the Levant. Although there are various styles amongst genders and those from different generations or countries, kissing is an important part of the culture. And of course, it is very Biblical. Paul frequently admonishes the believers to "greet one another with a holy kiss."
In general, a person living or traveling in the Middle East will benefit greatly from the possession of the Y chromosome. But when it comes to kissing, my personal space issues and hatred of unnecessary physical contact make me glad to be female. (Personally, I avoid kissing whenever possible. I don't kiss my sisters or mom. I kiss my dad only if I need something and think that would persuade him. If I do kiss something voluntarily it is usually a cute child under the age of 5 or a cute animal, usually furry but not necessarily. I have kissed many turtles and frogs, but I think they are cute.) Ordinarily, when women kiss each other, there is no lip-cheek contact. Cheeks bump lightly and kissing noises are made. Most of the time, I am still able to be inquiring as to the health and overall well-being of my friend and all her relatives and so manage to skip the kissing noise. On the other hand, when I have observed the kiss of greeting between men, I have noticed that there tends to be exuberant lip-cheek contact. Apparently, this is construed as an acceptable manly display of affection. As is clinging tightly to each other while riding closely on small pink motorbikes...but that is a subject for a different essay.
While I mentioned that women usually refrain from lip-cheek contact, the main exception is
the elderly population. Old women will often pucker their lips intensely and tilt their heads to achieve maximum contact. Only my steely will-power keeps me from cringing. Also, I really like little old women, and I want them to like me.
Finally, my frequent moves have allowed me to compare the varying kissing patterns of different countries. In Jordan and Syria, the pattern goes like this: kiss on the left cheek of your friend, then move to the right cheek. A good friend kisses at least twice on the right cheek. An enthusiastic friend kisses multiple times on the right cheek. It is confusing for foreigners new to the system. We often feel awkward going in for an unexpected kiss or being pulled into an extra kiss we weren't expecting. My way of dealing with this problem is to always go in for the extra kiss with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. This shows your friend that you really love her and, as most pop songs will remind you, love is the most important thing of all. Love will keep us together.
After mastering the kissing technique of Jordan and Syria, I moved to Lebanon where I currently reside. The Lebanese, perhaps more influenced by their Western colonizers that their Levantine neighbors, kiss in a more European style: left cheek, right cheek. Good friends repeat this at least twice. Again, when in doubt, go in for the extra kiss to show you really care and that there's no love like your love and no other can give more love.
Hopefully, this little essay will help you to successfully manage your next encounter with Middle Easterners from the Levant. Although there are various styles amongst genders and those from different generations or countries, kissing is an important part of the culture. And of course, it is very Biblical. Paul frequently admonishes the believers to "greet one another with a holy kiss."
You always did love kissing little furry creatures. You're right that there's a trick to it--I got so confused when I went from the Gulf to the Levant because they had a different way of kissing. So confusing.
ReplyDeletethis wasn't sufficiently mocking for my taste. Maybe next time. And I want to make sure that I understand the repetition factor BEFORE I get there. So we'll go over that when you pick me up at the airport. But no practicing on each other.
ReplyDeleteThis was not supposed to be a mocking blog, Marian. It was a serious academic work. I hope you learned something in spite of your cynicism.
ReplyDeleteI'll practice with you Marian, haha, just kidding. I've mostly found that with nationals they like 3 kisses (unless they haven't seen you in a while, then it's 4) and Pals like 4 (unless they haven't seen you in a while, then sometimes it turns to 5).
ReplyDeletePost something new!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. The funny award goes to the paragraph of why you will (or won't) kiss certain people. Especially your dad. I laughed.
ReplyDelete